BBC News visited us today to talk about the role food exports can play in…
A Game of Smokes
Those closest to the late Eddard Stark knew that he was just as likely to proclaim “Wild season is coming!” than “Winter is coming”. A reference to his love and indeed the love of the entire seven kingdoms for Genuine Wild salmon. It is perhaps the only thing you didn’t have to fear coming down from north of the wall. Not to be confused of course with the terrifying King beyond the wall Alex Salmond.
Yes it’s that time of year again, Genuine wild season’s repute travels as far as the free city of Braavos. The delicacy more renown than the luscious wines of Highgarden. Only the highest nobility ever get the chance to taste. The King, the hand and the small council may serve the people of King’s landing yet their tables are likely stocked with Genuine Wild Salmon, a luxury not shared with the peasants in the slums of Flea Bottom.
The prestige of such a product has provoked much controversy within the realm. Lords are continuously clashing over their desire for this rare commodity, indeed it is in high demand even in distant realms where it is often smoked to preserve it for its long voyage. It has been said “The common people pray for rain, healthy children and a summer that never ends. It is no matter to them if the high lords play their game of smokes, so long as they are left in peace.” Served in the finest eateries and the biggest events in the social calender, such as royal weddings … and we all know how peaceful they usually are.
The best smoked salmon on offer is from the House of Forman, a humble family located in the east of King’s Landing, the Dothraki would say “It is known” when describing the House of Forman as the finest purveyors of Smoked Salmon in the world. Lord Lance Forman is tremendously proud of his families generations old mastery of the art of smoking. All magic and automation is eschewed in favour of traditional, artisanal curing, smoking and slicing techniques to ensure a superior product that’s smokey taste doesn’t linger on the tongue throughout a banquet.
The excellence of their Genuine Wild Smoked Salmon is more obvious than the biological parentage of Queen Cersei’s children. If you chose any other salmon you would regret it as much as Sansa regrets her childhood crush. Famous food critic Hodor lyrically declared that it was “Hodor, Hodor” and emphatically praised it as more “Hodor” than any other food he’d ever tasted.
We guarantee you’ll fall harder than Bran in love with H.Forman & Sons genuine wild salmon. For they say it has a taste that makes the elite as excitable as Tyrion entering a brothel fully stocked with wine, so brace yourself … wild season is coming.
If you have any inquiries about the production of salmon in Westeros please send a raven to firstname.lastname@example.org