If you’re going for the long haul we hope you’re tucking in to a hamper of Britain’s finest food this evening!
Greet your guests with a sickly grin (Howard, Con, Folkestone and Hythe, maj 11,680) and usher them in for a sound bite or two. Start with H.Forman & Son Wild Smoked Salmon Pate It’s wild, Scottish (Galloway, Respect, Bethnal Green & Bow, maj 823) and the best money can buy. Delicious on Granny’s Five Seed Rye Bread (Foster, Lab, Hastings and Rye, maj 2,026).
It wouldn’t be election night without a few porky pies (Harman, Lab, Camberwell & Peckham, maj 13,483). Our Traditional Pork Pies from Norfolk (Bacon, Con, Norfolk South, maj 8,872) are made by Silent Partners from gloriously tasty pure breed Old Spot porkers (Widdecombe, Con, Maidstone and the Weald, maj 14,856).
It’s certainly within your allowable expenses to enjoy some Pickled Shallots on the side with your pie (Pickles, Con, Brentwood & Ongar, maj 11,612). Ours are made in small batches by chef Kit Bamford of Worcester (Foster, Lab,Worcester, maj 3,144).
Our Venison & Wild Mushroom Terrine, wrapped in pancetta with a port glaze, will delight the Countryside Alliance members of your party and is perfect for a midnight snack. The green welly brigade will also enjoy Montgomery’s Cheddar (Lembit, LD, Montgomeryshire, maj 7,173), a statesmanlike cheese if ever the was one.
By 4am, Peter Snow’s swingometer will be out of control. Mandy, put the kettle on. Our Simply Delicious Fruitcakes (Paisley, DUP, Antrim North, maj 17,965) will happily soak up all that rhetoric. How about one or two Brownies (Brown, Lab, Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath, maj 18,216) or some Macaroons (Cameron, Con, Witney, maj 14,146) for a taste of what may be to come?
Finally, as the tension builds and the exit polls start to take on grim significance, a stiff gin will be in order (Kennedy, Lib, Ross, Skye and Lochaber, maj 14,249). Be liberal, though; this should be a Red Nose Night for everyone. Bramley & Gage Sloe Gin is made by hand by a family firm in Gloucestershire (Dhanda, Lab, Gloucester, maj 4,271). The blend of seasonally picked sloes with finest London (Field, Con, Cities of London & Westminster, maj 8,095) gin makes for the perfect coalition.